Since my dad died three Mondays ago, I’ve been trying to go through the initial grieving process with as much gentleness, as much kindness, as much compassion for myself and others as possible. No doubt this, along with the love and support of my magnificent friends and family, has made the whole big mess a lot easier than it might have been.

I know the day will come when I no longer watch the clock on Mondays, dreading that time of night. But I’m not there yet. And that’s okay. Tonight I’m spending time with my incredible family, relaxing, watching movies, and generally just trying to ease into the hardest part of this particular weekday. And if I cry, I cry. If I don’t, I don’t. Either way, it’s okay.

Many people struggle through their days for one reason or another and make the struggle a great deal worse by berating themselves for not behaving according to some idea of who they should be. I wish I could draw from my reservoir of self-acceptance and sprinkle some kindness on the heads of anyone doing just that tonight. Because we’re all doing the best we can most days and that’s enough for today. Be kind to yourself. Life is short.